Conflict and forgiveness, two very difficult things to deal with. Although this is difficult, God has given us a strong standard in which to follow to guide us through these situations. Have you ever sat down and discovered how it is you deal with conflict? I choose the word discovered because often times our conflict resolution technique, whether positive or negative, is not cognitively known to us. In order to be aware of how we deal with conflict we must go through a process of discovery. How do you deal with conflict? How should we deal with conflict?
Matthew 18:15-17
Matthew 6:14-15
Approaching another in regard to any issue can be difficult. I think the standard is clear according to scripture. If one sins against you we must go to that person directly. And, regardless of the outcome we must forgive. The questions now becomes whether or not you have caused the problem or did they. And that can be a challenging realization to come to. It is incredible how sin in our own lives can dictate our behavior, attitude, and motives.
ReplyDeleteThese passages bring up another point about conflict that is really important too. If someone comes to you about their conflict with another person, you need to redirect them to use Biblical conflict resolution principles. So let's say Suzy and Bobby (not real people) have a fight at youth group one night, and Suzy come to you and says "I am so mad at Bobby for what he said! He said this and this, and he's such a jerk!" Your job is to say to her, "Suzy, I understand that you're upset, but you need to talk to Bobby about this." You can see the communication covenant that many of us at Northbridge have signed which gives a lot of Biblical principles of conflict resolution here: http://www.northbridgechurch.com/pdf/NorthbridgeCommunicationCovenant.pdf
ReplyDeleteConflict is difficult, but with resolution of conflict comes growth, and God uses all these situations to grow us in Him.
ReplyDeleteI use to hate conflict of any kind, because to me it was more about the fear that somebody wouldn't like me in the long run, and I wasn't good with that. But I have found that with each conflict that I confronted there was actually a better relationship made down the line.
Only once have I experienced a type of resolution that to me I thought there would be more, but with prayer and doing what I was suppose to do according to Matthew 18:15-17, is all I can do is give it to the Lord, and He knows my heart and with that came peace, for me I did what He needed me to do, and from there it's all up to Him.
To Him Be the Glory!
I'm glad you asked this question Ture. It's easy for me to look at others and say well I deal with conflict much better than so'n'so does! I think my initial reaction is usually to ignore it, because like Theresa I fear others may not like what I have to say. Or another reaction I seem to have is to become angered and frustrated with that person, but still I don't act on that as the scripture says we should.
ReplyDeleteSometimes our inaction can be just as much a problem as the conflict itself.
Something I have noticed within our Element leadership team is that we all like to talk about a problem amoungst ourselves, but no one seems to want to go to the person in question and deal with them directly. Maybe this is an area where we all can grow as a leadership team.
Jessica
I find myself more conficted by the Matthew 18 passage. most of the time when I have a problem with someone I tend to do the opposite of this passage. instead of going to the person, i stew about it and talk to other people in an effort to "get people on my side". if we truely want to be "in the world and not of the world" then that attitude will change.
ReplyDeletei dont think i withhold forgiveness but at the same time i do decare when i feel i've been wroged. if that makes sense.
Dave
ok so i was trying to say (convicted) and (wronged). thanks for understanding.
ReplyDeleteDave